I try to explain it
What’s in my head
Once again
It scares me to death

PTSD rages
Rears its ugly head
Anxiety makes me
Want to stay in bed

Panic and fear
Begin to take control
Monsters rise again
Begin to take their toll

Flashbacks and triggers
Nightmares too
Memories fill me up
Stick to me like glue

I am not safe
Danger is ahead
So much panic
Filled with dread

My heart is racing
Breathing heavy
I gasp and shudder
Cannot stand steady

My chest is hurting
As my heart pounds
I struggle to feel
My feet on the ground

My head is hot
My hands are sticky
My eyes are darting
Focussing is tricky

I want to scream
No sound comes out
My head is fuzzy
Close to passing out

I grab a blade
Begin to cut
But nothing eases
Within my gut

Blood is trickling
From my arm
I cannot help it
I have to harm

I’m frightened, fragile
All alone
I try to shout
But can only groan

I live with this
Every single day
How I wish I could make it
Just go away

I battle the demons
The monsters too
I fight to win
Try to make it through

Demons inside
Make me sad
They build up and up
They make me mad

My abusers voices
Rise within
They break my heart
With their evil grin

They make me feel
So all alone
Unsure who to trust
Am I on my own?

I push the people
I love away
Do they care enough
To see my fears, to stay?

I need them
To be strong for me
To help me
When I’m on my knees

To sit with me
When I breakdown
To hold me up
When I fall down

Not to tell me that
They understand
To just stand next to me
And take my hand.

Thanks for reading
**Image courtesy of Google Images**