Their Playground

playground_dark“Just cry” they say

But they have no clue

If it were that easy

That is what I’d do


I’ve been too strong

For far too long

And yet the fear

Still hasn’t gone


The fear of tears

Running down my cheeks

As my body tries

So hard to speak


It wants to speak

Of pain and fear

To tell of men

Who came too near


But fear takes over

For my mind knows

What happened if

My tears were to show


The men came closer

Angry now

I knew that crying

Was disallowed


Their arms would

Wrap around my throat

As a pillow or hands

Would make me choke


They’d rape me harder

Until I bled

A punishment

I would always dread


I mustn’t cry

Or make a sound

For they were the rules

In their playground


So I learned to keep

The tears inside

Locked away

I never cried


Instead the knife

Would cut my skin

It was the only way

They wouldn’t win


So when you tell me

To just cry

And wonder why I can’t look

You in the eye


Remember the reason

That I’m scared

Is fear of a punishment

I was never spared


Know that I long for the tears

To roll down my cheeks

To finally let

The memories speak


So while you sit there

With a frown

Wondering why I’m so scared

To just breakdown


Remember my childhood

Was a dark, scary place

With rules to keep me

In my place


Please don’t be angry

Don’t be mean

For things are never

As they seem


So when I finally

Do breakdown

Please make sure to never

Let me drown


And when I finally

Do breakdown

Please remember my childhood

Was their playground


I couldn’t cry

Or make a sound

For then I’d get punished

In their playground.


Thanks for reading

**Image courtesy of Google Images**

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