Their Playground

playground_dark“Just cry” they say

But they have no clue

If it were that easy

That is what I’d do

 

I’ve been too strong

For far too long

And yet the fear

Still hasn’t gone

 

The fear of tears

Running down my cheeks

As my body tries

So hard to speak

 

It wants to speak

Of pain and fear

To tell of men

Who came too near

 

But fear takes over

For my mind knows

What happened if

My tears were to show

 

The men came closer

Angry now

I knew that crying

Was disallowed

 

Their arms would

Wrap around my throat

As a pillow or hands

Would make me choke

 

They’d rape me harder

Until I bled

A punishment

I would always dread

 

I mustn’t cry

Or make a sound

For they were the rules

In their playground

 

So I learned to keep

The tears inside

Locked away

I never cried

 

Instead the knife

Would cut my skin

It was the only way

They wouldn’t win

 

So when you tell me

To just cry

And wonder why I can’t look

You in the eye

 

Remember the reason

That I’m scared

Is fear of a punishment

I was never spared

 

Know that I long for the tears

To roll down my cheeks

To finally let

The memories speak

 

So while you sit there

With a frown

Wondering why I’m so scared

To just breakdown

 

Remember my childhood

Was a dark, scary place

With rules to keep me

In my place

 

Please don’t be angry

Don’t be mean

For things are never

As they seem

 

So when I finally

Do breakdown

Please make sure to never

Let me drown

 

And when I finally

Do breakdown

Please remember my childhood

Was their playground

 

I couldn’t cry

Or make a sound

For then I’d get punished

In their playground.

 

Thanks for reading

**Image courtesy of Google Images**

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