Don’t tell me that you understand
If only you really knew
My body belonged to him you see
You really have no clue
I was not just his child
Not like you are your fathers
Instead I was his property
Along with all the others
Scared, fragile and alone was I
His breath all on my neck
I wish you could have seen me then
A child, a nervous wreck
His hands were coarse and callus
As he rubbed across my skin
I wished the earth would swallow me
As I waited for him to begin
His fingers would stroke my leg first
It always made me shudder
It made me feel so sick because
He treated me as a lover
His lips would brush across my skin
My neck, shoulders and lips too
He made me kiss him back a lot
I wish it were not true
Then would come the toughest part
The part that hurt the most
This part would make me bleed so much
He always used to boast
He rammed it deep inside of me
Groaning as he moved
My body learned to just give in
I felt so dirty and so used
My pain would never stop him
Even as the tears fell down my cheeks
I tried to fight but couldn’t
He made me feel so weak
I tried to scream, I couldn’t breathe
For I was being crushed
My lips his hands would cover
To make sure I was hushed
Then it was all over
His time with me was done
He pulled out of me so happy
He had had his bit of fun
Laying on the floor now
Bleeding, broken and all bruised
My whole world hit the ground now
For I had been abused
He’d stolen my virginity
At just 13 years old
He made me keep his secret
Or else my body he would scold
I was just a little girl then
A frightened little child
From that day moving forwards
I barely ever smiled
My childhood had now ended
My innocence he had taken
My life would be so different now
My vulnerability it was shaken
I knew his hands would be back
His lips and body too
I knew I could not run from him
He would be there as I grew
He raped me into adulthood
My body, mind and soul were his to groom
My heart completely broken
Encased inside his evil tomb
He turns my dreams to nightmares
Flashbacks, triggers and memories far too real
The monster is still inside my head
Still telling me what to feel
So please don’t say you understand
The feelings in my head
Because the monster I’m most afraid of
Is the man that I called “dad”!!
Thanks for reading
**Image courtesy of Google Images**
