Mental Illness makes me a warrior

9a4f069ec09d3ac3ddf12ba06e082703Do I frighten or embarrass you?

Is that why you walk away?

Mental Illness is not contagious

It is OK for you to stay

 

You say it is all in my head

I wish that you could see

I do not want to feel this way

For I am never free

 

You tell me I am faking

That I am not unwell

But let me tell you this my friend

I am faking being well

 

You are on the outside

Looking in, it’s hard to see

I am on the inside

Looking out, wanting to be free

 

There is a hell, I’ve seen it

I live it everyday

Trying to survive it

Fighting not to die

 

It is exhausting, overwhelming

A kind of tired that sleep can’t fix

For when I wake each morning

I am still just as sick

 

My nightmares are never ending

Emotions are never done

My meds just help me bury them

Keeping safe away from harm

 

The sadness it consumes me

Pain and anger hurt me too

I feel so many things at once

But emptiness is there too

 

Hopelessness and loneliness

Take control inside my head

Monsters make me hate myself

Sometimes I long  just to be dead

 

It is hard to act all “normal”

When all I want to do is cry

My body fighting to survive

My mind just wants to die

 

You tell me I am weak and damaged

But what you cannot see

I have been hurt, betrayed and broken

I trust no one but me

 

I have wounds that you have never seen

But somehow I survived

I am fighting not to fall apart

I am all broken up inside

 

Every day is a struggle

A war inside my head

I wish you could see how many times

I’ve wanted to be dead

 

I know I must be careful

For I have a self-destructive mode

Self-hate and self-harm take me

I struggle all alone

 

It is harder on the bad days

To try and save myself

Self-esteem is non existent

I’m sinking, going to drown

 

You say that I am crazy

You’re too scared to see that I am ill

But I have thoughts and feelings too

I am me, not my mental health

 

On bad days you call me lazy

But here’s what you don’t see

The bad days are the hardest

I am fighting more than you believe

 

Mental Illness it really does exist

A disorder not a decision

Mental Illness it really is just is

I wish it wasn’t hidden

 

Mental Illness is not a weakness

You just don’t understand

That nothing is more terrifying

Than the monsters in my brain

 

Mental Illness is not contagious

It is OK for you to stay

Mental Illness is a struggle

Please don’t walk away

 

Mental Illness does not make me weak

I am stronger than you know

I’m not lazy, I’m a warrior

My strength it soon will show!

 

 

Thanks for reading

**Image courtesy of Google Images**

 

 

 

One thought on “Mental Illness makes me a warrior

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s