I never imagined I would ever love colouring as an adult though!
Since being off work with my Depression, Anxiety and PTSD, I have been feeling isolated and alone. I rarely venture out into the big bad world as my anxiety plays up and so a lot of the time I am sat at home.
I work on my writing for my blog or some of the writing my therapist asks me to do regarding my memories. It is hard and sometimes upsetting though. It is also very lonely.
I have started working out again as I can do exercise routines in my garden or use my gym equipment I have upstairs and sometimes I go running if I can control my anxiety, but exercise isn’t necessarily something I always have the energy for.
Recently my therapist suggested I get a colour therapy book and give it a try.
I was a bit dubious and laughed it off as I had never seen these books and never thought that simple colouring would be able to help me.
Boy was I wrong!! I love colouring!
My first book turned up with the pencils I ordered and it was so great I ordered two more books with a different theme!
The books are detailed and can be used to de-stress.
Some of the pictures go into great detail and some have little detail, so you can choose one to suit the time you have or the mood you are in.
Colouring gives me a little time in each day with no bad thoughts. It is the only time I am able to block them out.
I am able to colour to suit my mood and can express myself in a way I never thought I would. I can say things with the colours and shapes that I cannot say in words.
I can colour at any time, day or night, in as much or as little detail as I like.
Working on the details helps me to increase my focus and work on increasing it in other aspects of my life too. It is something I struggle with at the moment as I can zone out when triggered or when feeling bad. Now I am trying hard to keep focussed on the programme I am watching or on the conversation I am having.
Colouring also keeps my hands busy. It is helpful when I am having a down day. These are the days when I usually want to self-harm. Colouring gives me something to do and keeps my hands busy. It does not always work but sometimes I can colour for hours and by the time I have finished I no longer want to hurt myself. As I said, it does not always work but it is definitely something I would recommend to other self-harmers as it definitely helps me.
I try and colour at least a little every day. I find it peaceful and in a way I guess healing too. I am able to be myself for the whole time I am colouring.
There are no rules or instructions. I can colour as much or as little as I please, with whatever colours I like. In a way I guess colouring gives me freedom. A freedom I never had as a child.
My freedom was taken from me and colouring gives me some of that freedom back.
It is a little bit of this hard journey that is positive and is mine.
It is a bit of this journey that is not focussed on what happened to me or reliving everything. I can create pictures in a way I never thought I could.
Colouring calms me. It cheers me up and it makes me smile. It is something I wanted to share with you all so that you could try it too.
Give it a go!
It really is my own little bit of freedom!!
Thanks for reading.